A moment of doubt

In my present state of mind, I guess both my blogs will probably pointing to the same issues. My indecision. My loss. My course.

If for a small situation as this, we feel deprived, depressed and incomplete. Most of us do have a lot of issues. Issues whose magnitude we tend to grossly exaggerate or underestimate.

Yesterday while I was walking down the lane to my house, I could the house, the balcony, my roommate happily chatting away. The sparrows warbling. The sun bright and the sky blue. The whole universe seemed to be unaware of what was ripping my heart apart. It was only my mind that was in turbulence. All around. It was peace. Calm and Happy. I decided to think that in the grander scheme of things, my sufferings as I choose to name them are really nothing. I am in Lexington, KY, USA, Earth, Solar system, Milky way, the Universe as we know it, The Universe as we dont know yet, The Universe we shall never know about.

Isnt it really laughable? Man! I am puny. If I am so, about the troubles that are racking me? Only in my mind? Arent they smaller still?

I thought of Arjuna. He was standing with the Lord. He was standing beside the Lord of the Universe. He who is everything. Vishwa. So the enormity of his situation was so huge. He had the world in two opposing ends. His loved ones on his side. His loved ones on the other side. How could he quantify his love? Could he say, "Look, the sum total of the loved ones on this side are more than those on the other?" Bhisma? His mentor? Drona? His Acharya? He could not.

But he had the Lord on his side. The Lord who was the avenging Almighty then. As he quavered, laid down his weapons and was ready to leave everything and be deemed a coward, Lord took him and made him fight. The Gita.

"If you win, you will rule over this world,

If you die, you shall be in Heaven,

Be Resolute, O son of Kunti

Arise and fight."

-The Lord in His Infinite mercy